The 3 Dangers When Sex Stops in Your Relationship
I’ve worked with a number of people who say they’ve completely lost desire for sex. Many have gone as far as to say they’d be perfectly fine if they never had sex again. While loss of desire tends to happen to more women in a long-term relationship, it also happens to men.
When sex and intimacy wane in a relationship often it is one partner who’s lost desire while the other one wishes to remain intimate. This is where major complications arise, conflict and resentment grows, and relationship stability starts to suffer. The partner who wants to remain sexual becomes highly dissatisfied with the relationship and this can be where the relationship becomes in danger of rupture.
The 3 Biggest Dangers When You Stop Having Sex in Your Long-Term Relationship
Unhappiness in the Relationship
When sex stops, dissatisfaction with the relationship starts to grown. For many sexual satisfaction is an integral part to being happy and content in their relationship. Data from Dr. Barry McCarthy shows that couples who are unhappy in their sex life are up to 50-75% more unhappy with their relationship.
Often sex is what separates a long-term relationship from other platonic relationships. Without it, couples can start to feel like roommates or passing ships in the night with no connection holding them together. This can breed resentment and start to feel like a partnership that holds no bond and only shared responsibility.
Searching for Satisfaction Outside the Relationship
Unfortunately when sex stops this can also lead to the sexually unsatisfied partner looking outside the relationship for sexual fulfillment. This can range from sexual encounters online, all the way to in person affairs. Unless a long-term relationship has explicitly agreed to these terms this poses a huge danger to the stability of the relationship.
More often than not, there has been no explicit agreement to sexual relations outside of the relationship. As a sex and couples therapist, I often hear from couples that they assumed that even though sex was not occurring between them that they were still in a monogamous relationship.
Even though sex has stopped in the relationship partners still feel a keen sense of betrayal and mistrust and this puts the relationship at risk for going forward with trust and confidence.
Higher Likelihood of the Relationship Ending
Because sex has stopped in a relationship, the feelings of resentment, anger, and lack of connection can cause a complete shut down of open or respectful communication. Couples often stop talking to one another or expressing their feelings and instead and become completely avoidant or passive aggressive. This starts making dissatisfaction flow into the relationship and for couples to become more distant. Couples who are not happy in their sex life have a higher likelihood of separating and dissolving their relationship.
Get Help Today
While sex can start dwindling in any long-term relationship it is essential to catch it as soon as you can and start actively address it. Doing so can help resentment from building and making sure that sex remains a priority for the relationship. If sex is becoming something where there is a lack of desire compatibility, get professional help from a licensed sex therapist. Together, you can learn to communicate, find solutions, and work towards a relationship that can be sustainable for you moving forward.
